I woke up this morning to get attacked, my browser frozen. I called my IP and they guided me to the config area and I guessed and unchecked two things that I didn’t recognize. I seem to be back online browsing so I’m hoping it’s good.
I’ve spent all day the last several in bed with just general malaise. I’ve decided that it’s likely just my bad experiences this spring. Watching my dad die just sucked. It snowed yesterday and I was brought back to McIntyre park, where it would snow mounds and my dad and I would sled down the hill when I was a little girl. It was so much fun! The realization hit pretty quickly that I would never go back there again, to that city or place. Not without my family there and they’ve moved on, so did I.
And I’ve spent time, not ruminating on the James Holmes case as I have in the recent past, but looking at my own life, and trying to see where I can go and what I can do with the time I’ve got left. Two of my career interests are acting and journalism and they are both typically looks and ageism challenged. I’m your average Jane. I”m older now. I don’t have any friends in that group, not in real life anyway. So, it’s doubtful I’d find a connection. Not that I’m looking. I do believe I might be able to do comedy. But I have to get up and do it again. And I keep making excuses…oh, I can’t travel because of the pets, I can’t work because I’d have to repay my notes, all the blather that I’ve been using for the last few years. I don’t want to rock the boat, shake the status quo until the notes are off my credit report, until I can see a way clear to really apply, something like a sitcom or something. That means a lot of work on me, and I just don’t have the gumption now….