Reflections to live my dreams….

It’s as if some little angel put a whisper in my ear:  stay here, and live, do everything you ever wanted.  I’d reached the point where I looked at my life and felt it’s problems had taken over.  They were too big, I couldn’t break them.  I couldn’t even approach them because I’ve taken this road that rewards my illness:  my disability and the benefits I get to live off of.  That sucks, because some things there is no ground to cover that allows for that.  Some of my dreams require absolute physical and pretty darned good emotional health.  Requires me to be a person who looks at the world from an outward stance, and not this inward dwelling on things I’ve learned to do.  I’m a victim of too much therapy, too much introspection, and too little training, both from the parents and life, in how to deal with difficult people.  People say that dreaming is free:  I say it has a cost.  When the dream doesn’t lead to action.  

Ugghhh…I felt him here, just for a second and I knew that he would watch over me……

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